Lots of pictures...

Sophie, Daddy and Elsa...What an exhausting day!!!

Sophie, Mommy and Elsa...Sophie loves to touch and hold ANYONE'S hair when she sucks her thumb. All she needs is the littlest amount of hair and that thumb goes in her mouth.

Elsa and Sophie...Sophie is very big into licking things nowadays. Unfortunately for Elsa, she loves to lick her head. Sticking her fingers into Elsa's mouth was just a little added bonus ;)

Sophie stealing Elsa's pacifier. Oh well, Elsa refuses to take the pacifier anyway (or a bottle right now - I'm in big trouble with that one).

Elsa and Haley...Elsa is already looking up to her big sister.

Sophie is trying to reach the cheese puffs on the top shelf.

Sophie loves climbing on everything and anything. She watched Haley climb up a slide once and she was determined to do it herself.

Despite the snow in the background, it was actually a nice day outside. Sophie walked from our back patio, down a couple of steps, and followed the grassy area where the snow melted around the house to get to her swing. She hates the snow. She did this all by herself. That took some logic for her to figure out how to get to her swing without walking in the snow.

Time to go in.

Here are pictures from Sophie's last hospital stay. Here she is oblivious to what is about to happen to her. Just hanging out in her pajamas and snacking on some trail mix.

Where do I begin...

I have not posted in so long about Sophie's development. She is doing INCREDIBLE!!! She does something new every single day!!! She just amazes me.

Physically...Her balance is getting so much better. She climbs on anything and everything which is very scary at times. She is able to go up and down the stairs by herself. She usually walks up the steps by holding onto the spindles or bracing herself against the wall (in other words she is no longer crawling up the steps) and she usually goes down the stairs by sliding on her butt which is good for safety issues. If she is out somewhere else and it is only a few steps, she can walk up them without holding on to anything and if there is something to hold on to she will try walking down the steps. She is also able to pedal on her tricycle, kick a ball around and bounce on her trampoline.

Cognitively...She understands almost everything we say to her. It amazes me everyday of how much she understands. I will tell her to do something that I did not specifically teach her and she will do it. She is picking up on things just by hearing us talk. Though she does not seem to understand what we are saying to her when it is something she does not want to do - that is how much she understands. On the other hand, it is sometimes hard for us to understand what she wants. That is where the frustration comes in - for all of us. Sophie is starting to throw temper tantrums which is very age appropriate! Most of her temper tantrums revolve around food. She knows exactly where her snacks are in the pantry and she does not take no for an answer. Also, at dinner, it is sometimes hard to figure out what she wants to eat even though she is an incredible eater. She eats almost anything. But if you try to give her a bite of something that she does not want at that moment, she can have a complete meltdown.

Fine motor skills...Just a few days ago, she started putting her plastic coins into her piggy bank. That takes a lot of fine motor skills to line up the coin just the right way to drop into the slot. Of course, we have been working with her on this for quite some time and Sophie just so nonchalantly walks over and just starts doing it on her own. That is Sophie for you. She loves to do things out of the blue on her own terms.

Speech...She is learning sign language. Her first real sign was "more". She uses the same sign for eat and drink so we are working on changing her sign for drink. She can sign bubbles, baby, cry, all done and milk. I am sure I am probably missing a few. She also does some signs for which I do not understand. I am not sure if she is starting to make them up herself or if it is things she is trying to imitate but she is just not doing it correctly. It is so wonderful that we are starting to be able to communicate without having to point at everything. She is also starting to imitate sounds. When asked what a cat says, she will say "mmmw". Not quite meow but close. She will also repeat "lalalala" when asked.

This post does not do Sophie justice when it comes to her development. The list can just go on and on. She has just improved leaps and bounds. It is all the little things she does and understands that amazes me.

First IVIG treatment...

Sorry I did not post sooner. We left for the hospital at 6:45am on Wednesday morning and did not get home until 11:00am on Thursday. Needless to say, it was a very long 28 hours. We were only suppose to be there until late afternoon on Wednesday.

Sophie handled her first infusion fairly well...just a little nauseous. It was getting the leads for the EEG and the IV started that was the hard part. She screamed for at least an hour straight. The nurses kept commenting on how strong she is. By the time they actually started the infusion, it was 11:00am. Since this was her first infusion, they wanted to do the infusion at a slow rate which would take about 9 hours. Well, when the doctor came by around 4:00pm on Wednesday, he suggested we stay the night since we were going to be here so late anyway. He wanted her to be observed for a few hours after the infusion and also wanted to collect further readings on the EEG. Since the hard part was already done, we agreed.

When we got home on Thursday, I gave her bath, she ate some lunch and then took a nap. By the time she woke up from her nap, she was back to her usual self. She is such a trooper. If only I could bounce back so quickly. She just amazes me. Only time will tell if this treatment will work as it takes awhile to build up the immunities. I will keep you all posted.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and kind words. Thank you especially to Grandma Debbie for watching Elsa and coming to the hospital on Thursday. Thank you Uncle Jason and Aunt Colette for coming by the hospital so Elsa would not starve (Brandon tried giving Elsa formula on Thursday and she refused to drink it but luckily we arrived home soon after) and bringing us lunch.

IVIG update...

I decided to matters into my own hands. Last week, I made an appointment with a pediatric hematologist. We met with him last Wednesday and he said we could start the IVIG treatment as soon as possible. By Thursday, I had a call from his office saying everything was coordinated with the hospital in order for her to get the IVIG treatment and EEG. Our appointment is tomorrow morning!!! Can you believe that?!? Nothing ever happens that quickly...especially without several phone calls.

The first treatment would take all day since it would be given slowly to see how Sophie reacts. If she tolerates the first treatment well, the rest of the treatments will be much quicker. Usually, they give the treatments in the office. Since their office is in a pediatric cancer center (very heartbreaking seeing those kids there), it is setup for such treatments with a big play area and televisions. But, since I want Sophie to also have an EEG at the same time (to see how her brain reacts to the treatment), we had to coordinate efforts with the hospital and she will receive her first treatment in the hospital.

Please keep Sophie in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. It is going to be a very traumatic day for her since she will be confined to a hospital bed with numerous leads (for the EEG) glued to her head along with an IV. But as always, I know she will be a trooper and be back to her happy self by the time we get home.

It is so hard for me to keep up with this blog...emotionally and physically. We are still in limbo regarding IVIG treatments as we have to meet with a neurologist at the Epilepsy Center at Children's Hospital as our regular neuro is not familiar with IVIG treatment. Of course, nothing is ever easy. It took 3 phone calls to the Epilepsy Center and a phone call to our regular neuro before we finally got an appointment. When the receptionist at the Epilepsy Center finally called us back with an appointment, the earliest appointment they could give us was April 21st. So then I had to call our regular neuro again since he said they should be getting us in within the next couple of weeks NOT in a couple of months. I am still waiting to hear back from our regular neuro. Of course, nobody is in a rush to get things done because it's not THEIR CHILD HAVING DAILY SEIZURES!!! Can you tell I am frustrated??? I am just so tired. Tired of always being Sophie's advocate. Tired of fighting. Tired of researching new treatment options. Tired of watching Sophie having seizures everyday. Tired of all the therapy sessions. Tired of not living a normal life. Tired of wondering what Sophie's future will be like. Tired of working with Sophie everyday to get her to do things that she should have been doing a year ago. Tired of feeling guilty. But Sophie keeps me going. That precious smile of hers. She is just so incredibly adorable. I love her so much.

Why I haven't posted...

I have not posted in the last month because on January 7, 2008, Sophie started having seizures again. She has been having seizures every day since then. We have tried increasing her Depakote with no success. I am sorry to all of those who I have not been honest with in the last month. I did not want to admit to myself or to anyone else that her seizures returned. By saying it out loud it made it more real. I was in denial. I thought with an increase in medication that they would go away again and I could forget that they ever returned. Unfortunately, they have not gone away and I can no longer pretend that they did not come back.

Things have been crazy this last month between Sophie's seizures and getting ready for the new baby. Elsa Kate was born on January 22nd and is a healthy baby girl...weighing in at 8 pounds 6 ounces and is 21 inches long.

We are currently researching IVIG treatment for Sophie's next treatment option. If anyone has any experience with IVIG, please let me know.

2007 - what a year...

To sum up 2007 -

• 5 ER visits
• April 2nd - hit her head on the tv stand and cut her face above her left eye resulting in 5 stitches
  
• October 20th - fell out of bed and cut her face above her right eye resulting in dermabond
  
• October 24th - started wheezing in the middle of the night and was diagnosed with a severe case of croup
  
• November 19th - fell down the basement steps resulting in a big knot on her forehead but luckily nothing else
  
• November 30th - sick and acting very strangely and showing symptoms of possible adverse drug reaction but turned out to be some kind of virus
  
• 1 minor surgery
• March 8th - ear tubes (yeah - no ear infections ever since and this is after being on 6 rounds of antibiotics in 3 months)
  
• Numerous trips to Chicago for her cranial molding helmet
• Between January through June - about 13 trips to Chicago (though we did enjoy getting to spend more time with Aunt Erica, Uncle Ricky and their cat Sylvester)
  
• Numerous EEGs (I have lost count but each one continues to look better than the last)
  
• 2 trips to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore
• April 15th - admitted for a week to start the ketogenic diet
• July 17th - follow up visit
• Several medication changes
• January 18th - started clonazepam
  
• February 2nd - started clobazam
• February 2nd - stopped clonzaepam
• February 14th - stopped depakote
• April 15th - started ketogenic diet
  
• May 14th - stopped zonegran
  
• September 7th - started keppra
• September 22nd - stopped keppra
• September 27th - started weaning diet
  
• November 10th -started 2nd round of depakote
• Developmental progress
  
• January - pulled herself to a standing position
• January - started using pointer finger to push buttons
• February - started crawling from one room to another
  
• February - started walking with push toy
• February - started cruising around furniture
• April - took first steps without assistance
• April - started climbing steps
• May - took about 10 steps without falling
• August - started using pointer finger to communicate what she wants
• August - started babbling more
• October - started putting objects in a container
• November and December - so many it is hard to list everything...her development is at an all time high (I will post again soon with all the new things she is currently doing)
  
• Last but not least...
• 28 DAYS OF NO SEIZURES AND STILL COUNTING!!!

What a wonderful way to end 2007!!! Though, we almost ended up in the ER on New Year's Eve when Sophie tried to eat a glass ball ornament. Luckily, we caught her trying to do this before she had a chance to swallow anything. She had 2 pieces in her mouth which matched up perfectly to what was missing on the ornament. Sophie sure loves keeping up the drama. Happy New Year!!!

27 days and counting...

Christmas Pictures...

16 days and counting...

Not much else to say except that she had a great day at school today.

12 days and counting...

It has been 12 days with NO SEIZURES!!! YEAH!!! It has been wonderful!!! We have an appointment with her neuro next Thursday so we will see what he has to say about all of this. I would love to see what her EEG pattern looks like now. She has been doing so many new things lately...

• She is clapping her hands. She claps her hands for all kinds of reasons. She claps when she just did something she is proud of (very adorable especially when you see the big smile on her face). She claps when you sing to her or she hears music. She sometimes even claps for no apparent reason (or least any reason that I can think of but who knows what goes through her mind).

• She is following one step commands. She knows what her choo-choo train is and will turn it on when I ask her to (if she is in the mood) without me pointing or looking at it. She points to the kitchen sink when Daddy says it is time to brush your teeth. She points to the light switch when you ask her if she wants to turn it on (which she could do for hours). She walks to the kitchen counter when you ask her if she wants to eat (if she in hungry).
  

• Her walking and balance is so much better.

• She is much more alert and does not fatigue as easily.

Her therapist were all very proud of her this past week. They were impressed with all the new things she was doing and just her behavior in general. Sophie is just more alive...just more with it. It is hard to explain in words...you can just see it in her eyes...she is just much more a part of this world.

Just have to share!!!

I can't hold it in anymore. It's been 8 days since Sophie has had a seizure. Her first jackknife seizure was on May 7, 2006 (a little over 19 months ago though looking back she was having subtle headdrops for about a month before that). She has had daily seizures ever since then until Monday, December 3rd around 2pm. I am so excited but so scared to get my hopes up too high. She has been very sick for the past 2 weeks but started feeling better yesterday and has been eating and doing very well today. I guess this next week will be the true test if she remains seizure free. Her neuro thinks maybe it was because she was ketotic but her seizures were horrible when she was on the highest ratio during the ketogenic diet. She started a second round of Depakote on November 10, 2007. I am not going to try too hard to figure out why. I am just trying to enjoy these days especially with her feeling so much better these last 2 days!!! I feel like I am just going to burst with joy!!!

Pure chaos...

The last 2 weeks have been absolutely crazy!!! Sophie ended up in the ER, yet again!!! Going back 11 days ago (Thursday, Nov 29th), Sophie started acting strangely. On that Thursday, she did not eat much lunch and she refused to eat any dinner. She was acting very disoriented. She kept pointing at nothing and kept crying. I have never seen her act this way before. I cannot even explain in words how odd her behavior was that night. We had just increased her Depakote and I was worried that she was having some serious side effects from the Depakote. One being acute liver failure which the symptoms are described as mental confusion and vomiting. Then the following morning at 6:15am, she vomited bile. I talked with her neuro and pediatrician and they advised us to take her to the ER to run some test. She had her blood drawn to check her levels and everything came back fine. We were told that she probably just had a stomach virus. The neuro had us decrease the Depakote back down to 125mg 3x/day. Of course, with there being so much in the mix, it is always a guessing game to try to figure out what is wrong. So over the next couple of days, she was very lethargic and ate very little. Then on Saturday, she started running a fever that lasted until Tuesday. On Tuesday, she started to eat a little bit more and I thought she was starting to feel better. Then on Thursday, she started vomiting again. So on Friday morning, I had her Depakote level checked again and it was fine (her level was at 61 - anything over 100 is considered high). When we got back from having her blood drawn, she threw up again so I made an appointment to see her pediatrician that afternoon. The pediatrician checked all her vitals and everything seemed fine but she prescribed Axid to help calm her stomach and Zofran to stop her from vomiting. Well, she vomited some more on Friday and Saturday. On Saturday, she refused to eat or drink anything at all. Then Saturday evening, after her Zofran dose, she started drinking again. On Sunday, she ate a little. Finally, that brings us to today...she had a relatively decent day of eating and was in a fairly decent mood!!! Hopefully, we have seen the last of whatever she has been going through. My poor girl - this must have been so difficult on her not being able to tell us how she felt or what she wanted!!!

I had to leave this past Friday afternoon to go out of town for the weekend...so thank you Uncle Jason for watching Sophie on Friday and thank you Grandma Debbie for helping Brandon out on Saturday and Sunday. I am sure Brandon is especially grateful for you taking on nighttime duty on Friday and Saturday evening.

It is late and I should be in bed so I will post again soon about her new developments...there are some exciting things happening through all this chaos!!!

Emotional roller coaster...

A day with Sophie is so emotionally exhausting. One minute, I am so proud of her. The next minute, I am in tears because she just had a seizure. Yesterday morning, she had a heartbreaking seizure. She was in the sunroom playing so well. Then her arms stiffen straight out from her side and she hits her head on the floor. The thing that was so heartbreaking about this seizure was that she was stuck in this position. It lasted about 3 seconds. It is amazing how long 3 seconds can feel at times like these. I immediately picked her up off the floor and held her but to see her stuck in that position with her head face down on the ground... I am use to the seizures that are quick. Well, as long as they are not too strong to where she slams her head into something. But the one that she holds from anywhere from 3 to 10 seconds are hard to watch. They are especially hard on Sophie. She is confused after she has a longer seizure. When she has a quick drop seizure, she can continue playing as if nothing has happened. Actually, these new seizures last longer than 3 to 10 seconds. To the eye, it seems like only a matter of seconds, but it shows up on the EEG as long as 30 seconds. We have increased the Depakote to 500mg a day (125mg in AM, 125mg at noon, 250mg in PM). She has to get blood drawn on Friday to check her Depakote level. Hopefully, it won't be too exhausting for her because she has preschool after that. She loves preschool!!! LOVES, LOVES, LOVES preschool. I am so thankful for preschool.

On a roll...

Sophie is on a roll. So many new things!!! Sophie is a pointing addict. It is incredible because this is the most she has been able to communicate but it is EXHAUSTING...especially being 8 months pregnant. She points all day long - the light switch, the picture on the wall, the buttons on the refrigerator... In other words, anything that is above her reach. She will take my hand, lead me to whatever she wants to bang on, then turn around so I can pick her up, and then bang on whatever it is. And whenever I do not play along, she gets mad. Talk about throwing some fits. She knows what she wants and she wants it now. And that sad face she can make in an instance. She can go from being incredibly happy to tears rolling down her face to being incredibly happy again - all within a matter of seconds. She knows how to work mommy over.

She also went from refusing to put anything in a container for me (she would occasionally do it for others) to putting shapes into a shape sorter. She can only do round and square objects but she is doing it on a consistent basis. If I hand her a ball, she knows exactly where it goes. She is also stacking rings on a ring stacker.

Sophie loves music. She loves bouncing to music and her new thing is clicking her tongue to music. The first time she did it was about a week ago at 1:30am. Sophie would not sleep so I got her out of bed to let her play. As I laid there half delirious, she started clicking her tongue to the ABC song playing on one of her toys. If she didn't do it again the next day, I probably would have thought I was hallucinating. Now she clicks her tongue to all kinds of music. It is her way of singing. Also, while Sophie is standing, she will hold on to my hands and I will rock her back and forth while singing Row-Row-Row-Your Boat. Today, she came up to me and held on to my hands and started leaning back.

So those are her newest things, at least, all I can think of at the moment.

Not again...

I am almost too embarrassed to post this. Sophie had yet another ER visit today. Yes - that makes 3 ER visits in the last 5 weeks. First, I just want to say she is FINE!!! Which is quite surprising considering the circumstances. Brandon told Sophie that it is a miracle that she is okay but that we would like to save the miracles for her to become seizure free and not for these other unknown events that seem to happen to her.

So what happened... Sophie and her two cousins, Colin and Nicholas, were playing in the sunroom while I was making some lunch. I heard Colin say he wanted to go downstairs to get a soccer ball but I just did not think twice about it. The next thing I heard was...boom, boom, boom, boom and screaming. At that moment, I knew exactly what happened. Sophie went tumbling down our basement steps head first and landed on the concrete floor. I ran to the basement door and I saw Sophie laying face down at the bottom of the steps. I was so scared. I did not know what to expect. I ran* down the steps and I did not know what to do. I was scared to pick her up for fear of hurting her worse. I scooped her up and looked at her face. No blood!!! All I saw was an increasingly huge knot on her forehead. I ran upstairs with her in my arms and immediately called Brandon. He immediately left work to meet me at the ER. I then called my sister to have her pick us up. Only a few minutes had passed by at this point and Sophie had stopped crying. She seemed fine. I looked under her clothes and no signs of bruises or cuts. The only thing I could see was this growing knot on her forehead and a few other small sore spots on her face. Colin, on the other hand, was crying inconsolably. He had witnessed the entire thing and was so scared that he may have hurt his little cousin. Colin is more like a big brother to Sophie than a cousin. He is always so patient with her and is always doing such kind things for her. Sophie wanted to get down and play but I was scared out of my mind to let her walk around for the fear of her having a drop seizure and landing right on that huge knot on her forehead.

My sister, Erin, arrived and dropped Sophie and I off at the ER. Brandon was already at the ER waiting for us and Grandma Debbie arrived shortly thereafter. Sophie was all smiles and seemed to not have realized what just happened. Once we were admitted into the ER, they took an x-ray of her neck and spine and all looked great. No broken bones, no cuts, no bloody lips, no bruises anywhere else on her body. She is so tough!!! She literally walked away from somersaulting down 14 unfinished wood steps and landing on a concrete floor with only a huge knot on her forehead a couple of other small sore spots on her face. She has been fine the rest of the night.

By the way, we had the same ER doctor as our last visit. When he walked up to us, he said we looked very familiar. I explained we were just here recently for croup. When we were leaving, he said he would call if the radiologist saw something on the x-ray that he did not see but that no news was good news. I said no offense but I hope to never see or hear from you again.

* Colin later said to me...I can't believe you didn't fall down the steps too. You came down so fast. He later asked his mom if she would run that fast to get to him if he got hurt. So precious!

Thank you, Grandma Debbie...

Last week, Brandon was out of town from Tuesday through Friday. Thankfully, Grandma Debbie stayed with us. As pregnant as I am, Sophie can be so exhausting. And as big as I am getting, it is not very easy to lean over a tub to give Sophie a bath. So I am very thankful that Debbie was able to step in and take care of Sophie during the nights that Brandon was gone. She knows Sophie so well and knows Sophie's routine so well, that she is able to just take over without me having to explain one thing. I just do not know where she gets all her energy from especially with everything she has been through lately!!! I am just so lucky to have such a wonderful mother-in-law. It is so hard for me to express my gratitude because words do not give it justice.

Preschool...

Sophie loves preschool. She is learning so much there. Sometimes, it is hard for me to believe the things her therapists are telling me that she is doing. She started preschool a little over 2 months ago and she has adjusted well, even though she still "cries" when we drop her off. At first, it was real tears. Now she just reaches back and cries out for us, but as soon as we leave the room, she is just fine. Actually, this past Friday, she jumped out of my arms to get to Barb (her developmental therapist). Unfortunately, I had to explain to Barb that I had to pick Sophie back up in 45 minutes to take her to her neuro appointment which gave Sophie enough time to decide that she wanted mommy back.

When I pick Sophie up, it is a whole different story. At first, when I would pick her up, she would give me this really sad look as to say "you better never leave me like that again". Now, she barely gives me a hug and she wants down to walk around while her therapists are explaining how she did that day. When we leave, she will hold on to my hand and walk all the way to the car. But, I can never get her to walk into preschool. Someday...

As for the things she is doing while at preschool...

• She is consistently putting puzzle pieces into a container. I can rarely get her to put anything in a container. But, at preschool, she does it on a consistent basis while taking turns with another girl in her class.
• She gets very excited when it is time to play ring-a-round-the rosie.
  
• She loves bouncing on a trampoline and becomes very vocal while doing this.
• She is starting to understand and follow the routine of preschool (i.e. storytime, lining up at the door, etc.).
  
• She loves playing the tom-tom drums.
• She actually took back a toy another child stole from her. Sophie was playing with a toy telephone and another girl took it away from her and Sophie took it back.

The list could go on but this is what popped out of my head for now.

Another round of Depakote...

Sophie had a neuro appointment this past Friday. We decided to start her on Depakote. For the past week, Sophie has been having a different type of seizure. Also, the number of seizures have been slowly creeping back up. It is so sad to watch. Her seizures have also been stronger causing her to fall down. She has numerous new bruises to prove it. I cannot count the number of times she has banged her forehead on the table while eating or on a toying while playing this past week. Just today, she got a big knot on the top of her forehead when a drop seizure caused her to hit her forehead on the wooden part of the staircase. That poor forehead of hers!!! Her new seizures last about 3 seconds long, as opposed to the quick one second head drop seizure, and are classified as tonic seizures. We started her on 125mg of Depakote this morning. This is the second time she has tried Depakote. Unfortunately, it did nothing for her seizures last time but after trying 8 different medications and the ketogenic diet, your options become limited.

Sophie's new things...

Sophie's development continues to surprise me. I cannot believe all the new things she does.

• Bounces. She will be standing there and start bouncing up and down and nods her head along. Sometimes she will do it when music is on like she is dancing. It's adorable. She has been using a mini-trampoline with a bar you can hold to at preschool so I wonder if this is where she has learned it from. By the way Sophie loves preschool. I LOVE preschool...she is learning so much there.
  
• Vocal. Sophie has been much more vocal lately. She loves to walk around saying dadadada. By the way, daddy has been her all time favorite lately.
• Attention span. Sophie's attention span is at an all time high. She loves books. She loves turning the pages in books. She loves looking at the pictures. Today at preschool, her therapist said she paid attention the entire time she read a book to her.
• No. Sophie has just started shaking her head no. Not that she only does it when she means no but just whenever she feels like it.
• Understanding. Sophie is understanding more and more of what people are saying to her. She knows what "outside" and "book" means among other words. It is wonderful to see her respond to something you say to her or to see her get excited when say a word.

So this is the latest list. I love being able to post such positive news.

What a week...

With seizure improvement, comes more development and personality. And what a personality Sophie has!!! Talk about coming into your terrible twos except it really isn't terrible. It is amazing to watch her communicate her wants. I have so many examples from this past week...

• Like when I opened the door to the garage to throw out some recycling. She was, of course, right on my heels because she cannot stand to be more than an inch away from me. I threw the recycling in the bin which doesn't even require me to step into the garage. I try to take a step back to shut the door but Sophie stood her ground. So I turn around to pick her up and she collapses to the floor before I even get my hands under her arms. This is so unlike Sophie because when DOESN'T she like to be picked up!!! So as she collapses, she lets out a scream. She wins. I hold her hand as she climbs down the 2 steps into the garage and she starts wandering about the garage checking everything out. She can't "tell" me in words that she wants to play in the garage but her body language sure speaks loudly.

• Or like when she throws her food on the ground during mealtime. I will have to get the camcorder out for this one. Anything she does not want to eat ends up on the floor but there is nothing casual about it. She picks up a piece of food she doesn't want, throws it on the ground and then cracks up laughing. Not just a little laugh. But a throw your head back belly laugh. Of course, she is absolutely adorable when she does this so I just try not to let her see me laughing along with her. Though, I think soon enough, I will no longer be laughing with her.

• Oh, this one is sweet... During a meal, Sophie will first eat her most favorite item and then move along to the next or she will start throwing whatever is left. If I give her more of her favorite item, she will turn to me, touch my arm and smile at me as to say "thank you mommy that is exactly what I wanted". It is so incredibly sweet.

• Grandma Debbie has been working with Sophie in identifying body parts especially the eyes. Well, the other day, Sophie pointed to the eyes four times. Of course, this brought tears to Grandma Debbie's eyes. I wasn't around to witness and Sophie refused to show me. Actually, Sophie usually refuses to share her new discovery with more than one person at a time. Well, later that night when it was just Sophie and I, I asked her where my eyes were and she pointed to them. Way to go Sophie. Thank you Grandma Debbie for your persistence in teaching her something new. And persistence you must be because Sophie makes you work hard if she is going to show you something new.

Well, the list could go on. I really need to start posting more often because Sophie is just on the go. She is still doing really well with her seizures, though, she had a few more today than the last few days but she did eat some Halloween candy last night.

Happy Halloween...

Sophie had an absolute blast today. She started her day off with waking up Haley (not so much fun for Haley), but Sophie always lights up when Haley is around. Then she had a great day at preschool and got to wear her Halloween costume. Her therapists said she was very interactive and was able to pay attention for a little bit during storytime before she got too restless. She made a lot of eye contact and just seemed to be in a very happy mood. She fell asleep on the way home from preschool and took a great nap. She woke up in a great mood and played outside for awhile before dinner. Then we went trick-or-treating for a little bit. It was a relatively nice night and she enjoyed playing on the front porch and checking out all the trick-or-treaters. She just loved hanging out and seeing all the different kids come by in their costumes. She is so relaxed at home. Home is so much of a comfort zone for her that she can really open up and explore. It is so hard to explain in words the mood she was in. It was just incredible. I wish everyday could be this fun as I am sure Sophie wishes too.

Correlation???

Sophie seizures have been getting better meaning we see less and less each day!!! But why??? It seems the more carbs we give her, the less seizures she has. Is this why we are seeing less seizures??? Or is it that she is just outgrowing them??? Or is it because she is sick??? In some kids, being sick reduces seizures or it can increase seizures or it can not make a difference. So many variables. I really don't care why as long as she stays on this pattern!!! I am scared to be hopeful. Sophie has been battling daily seizures for over 18 months now. How I long for just one day that she does not have any seizures. JUST ONE DAY. JUST ONE DAY WHERE I CAN SAY...NO SEIZURES TODAY. One day at a time, right? Then I can hope for 2 days, then 3 days...

Yet another ER visit (not to be confused with my last post)...

Sophie woke up around 10pm Monday evening with difficulty breathing. She was trying to cry but couldn't because she could not catch her breath. She had been a little congested the last couple of days so we tried steaming up a bathroom to help clear her airways. This did not work so we took her outside to breathe in some cool air. This helped a little but she was still having difficulty breathing. So we called the pediatrician's exchange number. A nurse called us backed and listened to Sophie's breathing over the phone and told us to immediately take her to the ER. This time we decided to take her to a different ER than the last 2 times.

Sophie was immediately admitted into the ER and was diagnosed with croup. We had a feeling that this was what it was but since she did not have the distinct barking cough we were unsure. The doctor said Sophie was in stridor and was given a dose of steroids and a breathing treatment. Wow - what a difference this made. Her breathing immediately sounded better and she was no longer in stridor. After the treatment, we had to wait 90 minutes to make sure she did not relapse. So we turned off the lights, laid in bed and took a little nap. Around 2am, Sophie was released.

She still is not feeling well and now has a constant runny nose. If she even sees me with the suction bulb in my hand, she starts crying. I never realized how strong or limber she was until I had to hold her down myself while suctioning her nose. I have to use every limb on my body to achieve this. She can twist and turn her body in such a way that it makes it almost impossible to do this myself. It's either that or wipe her nose every 5 minutes. If I don't catch it in time, then she rubs it all over her face...yuck!!! She also cries when she has a deep cough which doesn't help her runny nose at all.

Oh, and our ER experience was so much better. Everyone was very nice and competent.

Another ER visit...

Last Tuesday, Sophie fell out of bed, hit her head and cut her face right above her right eye. It bled pretty bad and it looked like it probably needed stitches. Of course, as soon as I picked her up she was fine but I was crying hysterically. Oh, the guilt!!! Grandma Debbie immediately came to the rescue and drove to the ER with us. Daddy pulled up right behind us. Luckily, she did not need stitches but they were able to use liquid skin adhesive to close the wound. What an ER experience!!! I am glad I waited a few days to post this...

It all started with the nurse coming in with a gauze pad full of numbing gel to put on her cut. So we laid Sophie down on the bed and held her arms down. I thought maybe the nurse was going to use a q-tip or something to spread the gel on Sophie. No - she just stuck the entire pad on Sophie and the gel starting running down her face and into her eye. Then about 15 minutes later, a med student came in to take a look at the cut to see if it needed stitches. She took the gauze pad off and wiped the gel off to take a look. She said that it did not need stitches and just needed steri strips. I asked about liquid skin adhesive since it is easier to maintain and at first she did not know what I was talking about and then said that she did not know if they used that here. So then about 15 minutes later, the doctor came in with the med student and asked her how long the numbing gel has been off. She looked at Brandon dumbfounded and so Brandon said about 10 to 15 minutes. The doctor said the numbing gel probably wore off by now so that he would need to put more on. They both left the room and came back a few minutes later. The doctor whips out a needle to numb the area. He sticks Sophie 4 times around her cut while she is screaming hysterically and also accidentally pokes her with the needle about an inch about her cut. Then we lay her down so the doctor can use the liquid skin adhesive to close the wound. I am holding her head still. Brandon is holding her arms down. Grandma Debbie is holding her legs down. In other words, she is not moving. The doctor proceeds to put the adhesive on Sophie and proceeds to almost glue her eye shut along with his glove along with a crease about an inch about her cut. So he gets everything unstuck and we are good to go. Hindsight, what was the reason for sticking her with a needle 4 times (5 if you count the accidental poke) if you are just going to use adhesive to close the wound. Getting stuck with a needle has to be 100 times more painful than holding the wound close to put adhesive on it. Oh well. It is over now and hopefully there will never be a next time which I will now be prepared for.

Pictures...

Happy 2nd Birthday!!!

Wow - I can't believe Sophie is 2 years old today!!! The first year of her life seemed to have last forever but this past year has just flown by. She has accomplished so much this past year. It seems each day she learns something new. I love this age...for the most part. It is so exciting watching her grow and figure new things out. Her personality is really emerging and her facial expressions are so adorable. On the other hand, she has become so demanding. So very demanding. It is great to see her know what she wants but that can be so exhausting. It is hard to draw boundaries with her but I am sure with a new baby on the way that it will just naturally happen. I love her so much. It didn't happen overnight with me. I remember when she was first born and I loved her and adored her but not like now. She fills my heart with so much joy.

Sophie is so blessed to have so many people love her. Thank you all for the birthday wishes. We have enjoyed opening the cards and reading them to her. It means so much to us to know so many people care about her.

Happy 2nd birthday my toddler girl!!!

She finally did it...

She finally decided to put some blocks in a container...to be exact - 12 blocks in all. She did this during developmental therapy but I have yet to get her to do it again. STUBBORN!!! Hmmm...I wonder who she gets that from!

Her walking is getting more steady. Last week, she was walking all around the patio without assistance. Her body awareness is increasing. She would walk to the edge of the patio and realize there was a drop down and would stop and walk the other direction. She is great about scooting down the steps inside the house. Before, she would just try to walk off things and wonder why she would fall. We were also practicing having her drink out of a regular cup. She spilt it all down the front of her but then she reached down and picked up an ice cube!!! What balance!!!

Holding steady...

Sophie's seizures have finally stabilize on the 2:1 ratio of the diet. We are holding steady to give her a bit of a rest before we take the next step. Unfortunately, she will not be off the diet before her 2nd birthday but I have a 2:1 ratio cheesecake recipe so she will have a birthday dessert to dig into.