I was in planning mode. Not trying to think about the actual surgery. Just trying to get all the details worked out...who was going to watch Elsa and the new baby, making housing accommodations in Detroit, trying to get a neuropsych evaluation appointment (which took me almost 3 weeks to get and I got the call this morning with the appointment date of June 1st), etc.
So here I am now. In just a mere 5 days, Sophie will be scheduled to have Part 1 of the surgery. All my prior planning is out the door. Useless. Now I need to focus on both planning and surgery. I am in shock. I can't believe it. I am scared!!! Scared is an understatement!!!
But I am happy?!?! Can't think of quite the right word to explain how I feel. I knew Sophie was going to have surgery. So better now than later. Of course, I wish she didn't. I wish her seizures would have just stopped on their own. But I am hopeful that surgery is the answer. But it is hard to be hopeful when so many things have failed in the past. But I can't think about that. I can't think about the "what ifs". I HAVE to put all my hope into this. That by the end of next week I will be able to say...I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY SEIZURES TODAY!!!