Lately, the extreme lows is what constitutes my day. With a little mix of extreme highs and everything in between. Because Sophie has been doing some amazing things. But we are still dealing with a lot of behavioral issues. And you just never know what you are going to get at any SECOND of the day. And it consumes me. It sucks all the energy out of me. It leaves me in a place that I hate being in. Because I want to focus on the positive. The fact that she remains seizure-free. I don't want to take that for granted. Not for one second. Not ever. And I don't want to take for granted the huge developmental gains she is making. But it is hard to concentrate on it when these behavioral issues literally smack you right in the face.
Though, I have to say, it seems we are at another upswing. Things seem to be getting better. We had a great day on Halloween. The best day I think we have had since Sophie was diagnosed when she was 6 months old. But the last time I thought that we were on an upswing, we ended up crashing again. So, I guess you can say, I am optimistically cautious. Because it is a lot for the heart to deal with. To go from one extreme to the next on a daily basis
**I have written so many posts in the last couple of weeks. Or at least attempted to. But I have never had the guts to click "publish post". And I am having second thoughts now. I am not sure why. I really haven't said much. I am getting myself worked up over nothing. So here goes.